Ein Kanadier war versucht, die Annexion zu unterstützen, nur um zuzusehen, wie die Amerikaner versuchten, mit Quebec fertig zu werden

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2024/12/canadian-man-tempted-to-support-annexation-just-to-watch-americans-try-to-deal-with-quebec/

25 Comments

  1. marketrent on

    *[…] Canadians nationwide seemed to agree that forcing Americans to learn about Jean Baptiste Day and the history of fur trading was the best reason to join the U.S., narrowly beating cheap shopping, lower taxes and finally getting In-N-Out Burger.*

    *“As a Quebecois I could never support joining with those bastard Americans,” said Jean-Luc Tremblay-Bouchard. “But if we must I promise to be so annoying that they beg us to go independent.”*

    *“I don’t think it would take me too long to understand life in Quebec. I mean, I’m Catholic, and I learned how to speak French by studying in Paris. How different could it be,” said one American man who didn’t even know who the fuck Bonhomme Carnival was, let alone understand his unique religious/sexual importance. […]*

  2. “In related news Quebecois were already threatening to kill any American politician who suggested we teach religion in schools and hang the body from one of their hundreds of thousands of churches.”

    This seems fairly spot on.

  3. I know everyone *says* they’ll fight. But they probably won’t. Most of us live within a few hours of the US and will just get rolled over. I mean let’s be real here, they have 10X the population and their military is so advanced it would be like fighting aliens.

    I know this is an Onion article, but I feel like Quebec would actually be the fiestiest to take over

  4. North_of_You on

    Wat till these Yanks find out about our national dish….Muktuk Poutine.

  5. Powerful-Dog363 on

    As an ontarian I will lock arms with my quebecois brothers and annoy the fuck out of those yanks!

  6. youreloser on

    They’d just skip over Quebec. Why would they want to annex a French speaking province, just another headache. But I suppose that pales in comparison to the sanctions they’ll be hit by.

  7. CommiesFoff on

    I don’t know, seems to me FNs are a much bigger arse pain to deal with than Quebec.

  8. letmetellubuddy on

    They’d make Quebec a territory, like Puerto Rico.

    I think Quebec would like it tbh, they’d get to send their own team to the Olympics, etc.

  9. SolarNomads on

    And to fuck up the Senate majorities. We should probably shoot for at least 2 senators per province.

  10. I wonder for most provinces, if being annexed to USA changes anything to your culture.

  11. It will be so much fun listening to someone in Congress from the mid-west and south try to pronounce names like Bouchard and Gagné.

    Not that many anglos in Canada do well either.

  12. Powerful-Dog363 on

    We’ll be fighting in the streets
    With our children at our feet
    And the morals that they worship will be gone
    And the men who spurred us on
    Sit in judgement of all wrong
    They decide and the shotgun sings the song
    I’ll tip my hat to the new Constitution
    Take a bow for the new revolution
    Smile and grin at the change all around
    Pick up my guitar and play
    Just like yesterday
    Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
    We don’t get fooled again

  13. I’d like to see the US try to wrap their minds around being bound to treaties signed by the British monarchy.

  14. It’s funny seeing all the canadians wanting to stay apart from the us claiming they have a different culture while denying quebec’s right to autodetermination.

  15. Willguill19 on

    We are better than anglo Canada and you guys just can’t handle it. Vive le Québec LIBRE

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