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25 Comments
*[…] Canadians nationwide seemed to agree that forcing Americans to learn about Jean Baptiste Day and the history of fur trading was the best reason to join the U.S., narrowly beating cheap shopping, lower taxes and finally getting In-N-Out Burger.*
*“As a Quebecois I could never support joining with those bastard Americans,” said Jean-Luc Tremblay-Bouchard. “But if we must I promise to be so annoying that they beg us to go independent.”*
*“I don’t think it would take me too long to understand life in Quebec. I mean, I’m Catholic, and I learned how to speak French by studying in Paris. How different could it be,” said one American man who didn’t even know who the fuck Bonhomme Carnival was, let alone understand his unique religious/sexual importance. […]*
US Civil War enters the chat
“In related news Quebecois were already threatening to kill any American politician who suggested we teach religion in schools and hang the body from one of their hundreds of thousands of churches.”
This seems fairly spot on.
I know everyone *says* they’ll fight. But they probably won’t. Most of us live within a few hours of the US and will just get rolled over. I mean let’s be real here, they have 10X the population and their military is so advanced it would be like fighting aliens.
I know this is an Onion article, but I feel like Quebec would actually be the fiestiest to take over
Wat till these Yanks find out about our national dish….Muktuk Poutine.
As an ontarian I will lock arms with my quebecois brothers and annoy the fuck out of those yanks!
We should trade Quebec for Alaska.
They’d just skip over Quebec. Why would they want to annex a French speaking province, just another headache. But I suppose that pales in comparison to the sanctions they’ll be hit by.
I don’t know, seems to me FNs are a much bigger arse pain to deal with than Quebec.
They’d make Quebec a territory, like Puerto Rico.
I think Quebec would like it tbh, they’d get to send their own team to the Olympics, etc.
And to fuck up the Senate majorities. We should probably shoot for at least 2 senators per province.
A wall would be built in record time.
I wonder for most provinces, if being annexed to USA changes anything to your culture.
Can they really be more obnoxious than Texans?
they’ll just march to the sea again
Imagine when they see the price of first nations.
It will be so much fun listening to someone in Congress from the mid-west and south try to pronounce names like Bouchard and Gagné.
Not that many anglos in Canada do well either.
We’ll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song
I’ll tip my hat to the new Constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
They think Cajuns are weird….
HA! Quebec would never be invited!
America will meet their match.
I’d like to see the US try to wrap their minds around being bound to treaties signed by the British monarchy.
Not in your lifetime.
It’s funny seeing all the canadians wanting to stay apart from the us claiming they have a different culture while denying quebec’s right to autodetermination.
We are better than anglo Canada and you guys just can’t handle it. Vive le Québec LIBRE