Ina Garten „konnte nicht verstehen, warum die Leute Kinder bekamen“, nachdem sie selbst eine „schreckliche Kindheit“ hatte
https://people.com/ina-garten-couldnt-understand-why-people-had-kids-after-her-own-horrible-childhood-exclusive-8715234#:~:text=So%20by%20the%20time%20she,any%20fun%20in%20my%20family.
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> “I grew up in a family that wasn’t a happy family, so I couldn’t understand why people had kids,” Ina tells PEOPLE for this week’s cover story. “Nobody had any fun in my family. Now I understand it, but at the time, when I was 25 and 30, I just didn’t. It was nothing I really wanted to do.”
> She cites a saying that explains her situation: “What goes in early goes in deep.”
> “After my experience, my mind was closed to the possibility of having my own child. Jeffrey and I were content with our choices and our life,” she adds.
This is a normal and common reaction, I think. A lot of parents, myself included, choose to have children because we want to do things differently and we know we’re capable of that. But that doesn’t mean everyone has to do it or that everyone is capable of it.
I grew up in a poor family with the constant stress of money permeating everything. It creates a volatile environment and unfortunately made my mother an absolute nightmare.
I got out. I made a life for myself, and I’m successful. My wife and I are happy. I am also a product of my upbringing. However, I have chosen to lead my life in a way better than where I came from and to provide my children with better than where I came from.
I get the logic of why she chose not to have children, but the cycle can be broken.
I havent sat and watched the food network in at least 15 years. I used to love her show! her and her cute little husband and i enjoyed watching the little snippets of their lives. They were adorable with each other and I just remember her wanting to cook him chicken.
Some people have the opposite response to trauma. And it motivates them to give their kids the childhood they could only dream of.
My dad would simultaneously tell me that kids are the single biggest stressor he’s ever had to endure, that life is hard and kids make it harder, and that I also should have my own bc that’s what life is about. I know he loved us and was a great father in his own way, but he has permanently done something to my psyche that makes me terrified of having any of my own. My mother also played a part in that, by being completely uninterested in being a mother all throughout my childhood.
But I also love kids, so I became a teacher. Sometimes I wish I did have children of my own, but I’m at peace with interacting with them all day and coming home to a quiet house with just my partner and pup.
Amen. I was a parentified kid and wanted to have some me time at some point in my life.
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It’s fun that the photo they used was taken in a garden.
Looking forward to her book. I needed to see this this morning. I don’t have kids because my childhood was similarly awful. Most of the time I forget how much I overcame just to get to stability. It’s easy to feel like a failure or regret the choice, but honestly anyone else in my shoes would do the same thing if they had the same experiences.
Somebody once told me that Barefoot Contessa’s theme song sounds like a piano falling down the stairs and it really does
Because some people become good parents despite their horrible upbringing.
As a child of an abusive father I completely understand
You can help society without having to have your own kids.
After a hard upbringing, I also felt no desire to have kids or be a father. I assumed I’d be the worst father because of my upbringing. Then, at age 45, I randomly met a 26yo guy who was struggling to get out of an abusive relationship with his husband. (He also had a terrible childhood.) After a few times hanging out with him, crazy paternal feelings arose in me that truly surprised and unsettled me. I felt absolutely compelled to help and protect him — and impart all the knowledge I’d learned in my 20-year head start. Three years later, he’s doing much better and getting his life back on track. He even refers to me as his “real dad”, which, honestly, makes me tear up sometimes. While I don’t regret having kids of my own, I do feel great joy that I was able change someone’s life so drastically just by behaving the way I always wanted my father to treat me.
I get this. I never planned on children after my difficult childhood. When my wife got pregnant four years ago, I was deeply anxious, but made a promise to myself (and child) that I would be the kind of parent that I needed when I was little, and have the happiest little kid as a result. It’s not always easy, but I love her with an intensity that I never could have imagined myself capable of, so I keep it together.
Ina Garten in a Garden
Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll
My grandparents were from the Silent Generation. My paternal grandmother, and my maternal grandfather were great people, but my other grandparents weren’t. They were abusive, and really shouldn’t have had kids. My maternal grandmother didn’t really want kids, she just had them because she was catholic and it was expected of her. I don’t blame Ina for her decision.
As a parent I definitely gets this. Kids are hard and parenting is not easy. I only have one child and she is a handful. I see people like my sister and others who have more then one kid and I don’t know how they do it. I of the opinion that if you don’t want kids get sterilized so there is no way you can have kids and don’t let people pressure you into having kids. Kids grow up into adults and the responsibility of helping a small human grow into a functioning adult is not easy. Hell my husband and I have recently put our daughter who is 5 in therapy because something is going on with her emotional regulation that we can’t seem to figure out and we need help.