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32 Comments
Only one rasher , no funghi ,
if i was served this at a cafe
I defo would not buy
I assume this rather meagre food
Cost a lot more than it should
A shortage of those sugar-laced beans
And those two puddings,boy look mean!
That looks very tasty
But your rasher’s escaping
IF by RUDYARD KIPLING
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son
Are you on ‘shrooms?
There’s plenty more room
For plenty more ‘shroom
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When I saw this it made me frown,
What the fuck, no hash brown!
Of that toast, I would not boast
For i have seen more scorched ice,
The rest, yet not impressed,
I would describe as nice.
Call that a rasher?
It’s mostly rind.
And about that egg,
Must be from a cocks behind.
No crispy potatoes, that’s disappointing.
Overall not so bad though, apart from the ‘shroom thing.
Beans they are,
Jaegerbombs they are not,
It is rather curious,
Why they’re being served as a shot
If I served you that I’d be feeling guilt-stricken,
because that egg must have come from a miniature chicken.
Could do with a farl and a bit more veg.
Why’s that bacon falling off the edge?
Indeed it looks like something was lost
If you don’t mind me asking, how much did it cost?
Where’s your hashbrown
I like it all, especially the bacon, but I do not like that it’s escapin’
Two different puddings a black and a white,
but only one rasher, that’s clearly not right.
only an egg,and a single mushroom,
come now fella, there’s plenty of room.
Is it clonacilty pudding. Small portion on a big plate
It’s Easter ffs, eat something proper
One of each pudding,
Does not inspire loving
And only one rasher?
A real head scratcher
Sausages – at least there are two.
As for the beans, far too few.
Tis a small breakfast for sure.
Room for lunch is assured
Two sausages, that’s a joke.
What’s that green stuff on the yolk?
It looks great – ‘twould be better than most –
If you add an egg and another slice of toast
Tea for me
I’ve never had half an egg on any fry.
The toast’s not toasted.
The bangers look roasted.
The beans are meager.
The egg is just meaner.
Friend, I ask where’s the rest of your egg?
And why are your pudding cut as high as a leg?
My first two thoughts were: hwy is ther a gap in the middle and the bacon hanging off?
Second thought was…..(I know, purists will be horified0 where’s the chips? Where’s the pot of tae?
Apart from the arrangement, it looks fine to me. Basic breakfast.
Whats wrong with your egg and where the hash brown and why does the bread look like cardboard. Not something id be bragging about.
Auld Mr Brennan has said
Indeeden thats not my bread
That sourdough thing
Is a pain in the ring
Like the pandemic I’d wish it’d die
This looks like it’s from a hotel buffet. I can literally see how tepid those puddings are.